Your Limit
A calculator in which you put the maximum you’ve ever been able to charge for your work per hour. Enter a few more variables like the amount of time you’d like off and when you hope to retire, and the app calculates the maximum amount of money you could ever make with that plan.
Public Accountability
A site where you can upload audio/video of a promise to do something. You then get a score on how reliable you are.
Speech Therapy
Microphone identifies filler words when you speak and delivers minor shock when you use them. The app also analyzes the words spoken per minute and range of frequencies you use. The app can take a recording of you, edit out all of the filler words and phrases, and play back what you would have sounded like if you were a better speaker.
Cycles Productivity App
Shamelessly copied from Sebastian Marshall http://sebastianmarshall.com/my-biggest-two-productivity-gains-from-2016
At the start of a Work Cycle, I answer: - What am I trying to accomplish this cycle? - How will I get started? - Are there hazards present? - Energy/Morale (High/Medium/Low)At the end of the Cycle, I answer:
- Goal completed?
- Were there any distractions?
- Things to improve for next cycle?
- Energy/Morale (High/Medium/Low)
Database:
- Table 1: Cycles
- Table 2: System variables
- Send email alerts? (bool)
- Cycle duration (integer, minutes)
- Time between cycles
- Cycles per work day
Posture Desk
Has a camera. Calibrates itself to “good posture.” Camera is connected to speakers, so when you slouch, it shouts at you “STAND UP STRAIGHT! DO YOU WANT TO BE STARTING AT THE SIDEWALK IN YOUR OLD AGE?”
Your Kitchen
You pay for a kitchen and dining room for 3 hours. When you get there, ingredients are ready in the fridge. You cook dinner and eat. Clean up is included in the door price.
Business Cards
Fill them out with an appointment date and time. They come with carbon-copy duplicates.
The Bald Eagle Club
Rules:
- When you join, you get the next number
- Every day, a random number is picked
- If your number is picked, you get to send a message to everyone in the club. You also have to shave your head.
Ethics in Politics
Commit people to vote against any candidate who does x y z.
Opt-in Parenthood Marketplace
By opting in, you assume that you have the right to parent two children. You can then buy or sell your right to children on an open marketplace.
Black-aids
Band-aids that more closely match the skin tone of our African brethren.
How to Avoid Jail
A training course for at-risk youth.
Rat Eugenics
Condition rats to scour landfills for useful material, or do other productive work for food or other incentives.
Mexican Sandwich Delivery Restaurant
Called Jaime-Juan’s.
Too Lazy to Breathe
This is a device similar to an iron lung which you hook up to your mouth or trachea and which automatically circulates air through your lungs constantly. This allows you to relax completely without the imposition of having to breathe.
21st Century Polygraph
A device with a pressure sensor that you insert into the subject’s anus. The idea is to tell whether a question makes the subject nervous by detecting the involuntary clenching of the sphincter.
Edit: Apparently this already exists. At least I can pull out this example next time someone tells me my business ideas are impractical or absurd.
Reverse Car
A car which, when driven backwards, takes pollution out of the air, turns it into gasoline, and deposits it into the gas tank.
Lifetime Supply
Sell a lifetime supply of a good or service for a relatively cheap rate. Then engineer a fatal accident for the customer before they reach the break-even point.