Takeaways:

  • A conversation becomes crucial when it is emotionally charged, and will have an important effect on the lives of parties participating in the conversation
  • How individuals or groups handle crucial conversations has a vast impact on their success.
  • The goal is not to “win” or “lose,” it’s first to add as much information to the common pool of understanding, then to decide on a course of action once all of the information has been added to the pool.
  • People will only add information to the pool if they know they are safe to do so.
  • Start by establishing a common purpose, so that even if opinions differ, the parties know that their ultimate goal is the same.

4 ways to make a decision:

  • Command: One person makes the decision.
  • Consult: One person makes the decision, but asks for input from others.
  • Vote: A group makes a decision, in which the majority opinion prevails.
  • Consensus: A decision must be made by agreement by all parties.

Example: “We have a limited amount of time to make this decision, so let’s discuss it and try to come to a decision by consensus within the next hour. If no consensus can be reached, then (it will be put to a vote of the managers / X will make a decision based on the group’s consultation).

When decisions are finally made and plans of action established, someone needs to track WHO (an individual, not a group) will do WHAT by WHEN, and follow up.